“When You Say ‘Happy Mother's Day’ to a stranger...
She might stare at you for a second.
She might quickly compose herself and give a quick, “thank you” as she rushes out the door.
She might wipe the tears from her eyes as she struggles to grab her keys, hoping no one notices her.
She might put both her hands on her steering wheel when she gets in her car and rest her heavy head on them as she sobs.
You might not see her pain. She hides it well.
You might not realize what she’s lost. How could you? You’ve never met.
You might not know how many dreams have been shattered. And you won’t see her again so you’ll never get the chance to ask.
So you might want to reconsider saying “Happy Mother’s Day” to a stranger.”
by Miki Speer
5/8/2021
Hi! My name is Miki. Raise your hand if you have ever been wished a happy Mother’s Day and it stung… (my hand is waaayyy up!)
I love this photo… but I hate this photo. I didn’t know it at the time, but this would be the last Mother’s Day I would ever have with my mom.
My heart goes out to everyone out there who is reminded on Mother’s Day of what they don’t have:
Maybe you don’t have your mom anymore.
Maybe you never knew your mom.
Maybe you lost a child.
Maybe you are struggling to conceive children of your own.
And you know what? Saying “but focus on what you do have!” doesn’t help.
So I will say the opposite - this Mother’s Day, I hope you lean in to what you are missing. I hope you set some time aside to honor the fact that what you are going through is really hard and that this actually just sucks. And if through that process you feel better and it becomes a better day, awesome. If not, that’s ok, too!
For me, simply setting aside time to journal about how I am feeling and what she’s missed really helps. I always pull out my copy of the My Heart Still Remembers workbook and feel 100 times lighter completing it.
I hope a stranger doesn’t flippantly wish you a “Happy Mother’s Day” this year, but if they do, I hope you know you can always message me to tell me all about it. I hope some of my songs help you “feel and heal,” that some of my past episodes help shed light on what has helped other grievers, and that you know you are not alone on this journey!
(Here is a card from that collection)
Love, Miki (daughter of Amy)
PS - if you know someone who is hurting on Mother’s Day, keep this site book marked for next year so you can send them a card to let them know you’re thinking of them!